How GEM Will Use Powerball Winnings
Posted Friday January 15th, 2016 by Peter Kozodoy in Fun + Personal.GEM New Haven's office pool was a winner this week in the famed Powerball lottery, making absolutely no news as the group proclaimed itself a winner in the northeast.
The total sum of the winnings across all tickets purchased was a whopping $8.00, and they couldn't be more excited. The 11-person pool invested a total of $22.00, making it the worst investment an advertising agency has made in the past ten years in the month of January when the Powerball Lottery was above $1 Billion.
"We're so excited to have won something," said Caitlin, GEM New Haven's Social Media Coordinator, "I've never won anything. Ever."
"I told them we were all going to be winners, and here we are - living it up," said Janel, GEM New Haven's Director of Public Relations. "I'm absolutely going to share this with the media."
"We're going to be rich!" said no one.
The group matched the mighty Powerball itself, making their numerical selections 83% inaccurate, along with millions of other players who also had "winnings" in the $5-$8 range.
At GEM Vancouver in Canada, Senior Account Manager Jonathan Mosley was shocked upon hearing the news, saying, "Before we learned about this announcement, our US counterparts had a certain reputation here in the Canadian office...now, our opinion of them has definitely changed. It's not better."
When asked what the group will do with the winnings, the answers were as off-target as the number selection:
"I was going to buy coffee for the office," said Copywriter Gia, "but Dunkin' Donuts told me that all I could afford was a stack of paper cups."
"I'm going to become a Broadcast Director at an advertising agency," said Jimmy Penna, the Broadcast Director at GEM, who is hopeful that his dream can come true since it already is.
It remains to be seen whether the group will participate in the next lottery, given their success in the largest jackpot in world history. One thing that is true: the group's morale is higher than ever, and will remain so until they realize that each person's share is only $.72.
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